Mom's funeral

This is for you Mari!

Mom's funeral was beautiful.

Rob and I drove all night and arrived Friday at 3:00pm and I met Lari, Rebekah, and CiCi at the mortuary to prepare Mom. It was so bittersweet to paint her nails and do her makeup. We did her nails dark red like she liked them. Lari gave her pearl earrings to put on her and we put her German CTR ring on.

We had a viewing that evening. Rebekah and Lari had spent hours putting a book together with the questions we had had Mom answer last summer and Pat did the loveliest job of making a memorial video of mom with pictures we had found. He put the pictures to 'Somewhere over the Rainbow' and "I will fly away". Both the book and the video were displayed as well as a table full of mom's memorabilia from her mission and pictures. So many old friends and family came. It was so touching to have so many dear people come to remember mom.

On Saturday we had a viewing before the funeral. This was the first time my kids had seen her since we arrived. I wasn't sure how they would handle it, so I arrived early to be there before others arrived. Hannah had seemed so unaffected before... I'm not sure she totally understood until she saw Mom there in the casket. She started to cry and kept saying, "But I liked her so much!" When Sam saw her he got really excited and started to say and sign "Grandma" and tried to climb up in to the casket. It was sad and sweet. I wish he will remember her. He had a special bond with her. When they went to close the casket, Sam started to cry and again signed and said, "Grandma" and Rob told him to say goodbye to Grandma. It surprised me how much he understood was going on, because at the burial when he saw the casket he again said and signed "Grandma!" Saying our last goodbyes was tough. I think I've been on autopilot alot this week, holding it together to get the things done that I needed to... not really feeling anything. At this time, I started to crack a little.



Her actual funeral was so beautiful and so "mom". I've included her program and my remarks. Marc sang beautifully. Lari read a poem she had written and I shared a few of the things near mom's bed. Janice was absolutely a brick. She went through and shared her memories of mom and the ways she saw us children interact with her. I had several people afterwards tell me how they hoped they had a friend like that. One who would remember and cherish the many years they had together. It was just wonderful to see how many lives mom had touched. We often only saw her as mom, but to so many others she was a dear friend, neighbor, and support to those around her. It made me want to be even more like her, having so many tell me of how she had touched their lives and given them such loving, selfless service. I had already felt that this trial had been more for myself and those around her than for herself... to show how we would react and care for one who was always the caregiver; but hearing about all the care she gave others I felt she had earned her wings long ago.

It was just so Mom when the choir sang "I will fly away". I knew she had sung with the Mass Choir, but I hadn't realized how long. They got together after being apart for the last five years to sing one more time for her. It was loud, joyous, and so Mom. It made me smile. Apparently years ago she had told Denise, Rebekah's mother-in-law who also sang in the choir, that she wanted this sung at her funeral. It was perfect.

At the burial, Kimball dedicated the grave and then gave anyone who wanted a chance to come up and share remarks. All of her siblings, most of her children, and lots of cousins and friends got up to share their feelings and memories of mom. Everyone shared a different facet of mom's generosity and love. I was surprised when I realized how many people mom had taken in, how many she had faithfully written to and supported, how many times she had sacrificed her own desires and needs to help others. I knew that she did that, but hadn't really added it up that she did it for everyone. It made my own excuses for not keeping in touch or helping others and about being busy so lame. She served others all the time. Where she found the time I can't fathom. She was always on the go doing something... usually something that involved others... helping or nurturing her friends and loved ones. At the end, I passed out balloons to everyone and we sent them to Mom. It seemed so appropriate and I heard "I'll Fly Away" in my head. Dear Mother we will always miss you!